Throwback Thursday: Classic Nollywood’s Hilarious Take On Life After Death

life after death

Nollywood is indeed the home of everything. From life lessons to what happens after death, Nollywood has bizarre depictions for a lot of things. Ever wondered what happens to you after death, well thanks to Nollywood we can tell you 10 things that happens:  

The pearly gates or the fiery pit

1. Your soul will immediately leave your body. As opposed to just appearing in the afterlife, Nollywood standards imply that recently deceased souls have to walk there…on foot.

2. In some movies, especially the religious movies, the angels dress in a poorly-white tailored garment will give you a tour of hell and heaven respectively and if you are lucky, it is possible that you will be sent back to Earth because it’s “not your time.”

3. If it indeed was your time to die and you were a terrible person when you were alive, you’ll be insulted for at least 20 minutes by the elderly angel after the tour and then sent straight to hell.

4. In a Nollywood movie, you will be given a heads up on who KILLED you and why. Emphasis on killed because nobody ever dies of natural causes, it is either they were poisoned or murdered.

5. You have a choice in the afterlife, to either move on or return to earth as an angry ghost so you can haunt the person who killed you. How amazing!!

6. If you choose to become an angry ghost, you given a flowing white gown. To slay with…lol!

7. Also, you’ll be covered in a ton of white substance and have cotton wool shoved up your nostrils and ears, that’s the accredited look.

8. You will then become an automatic electrician as you will begin to torment the person responsible for your early demise by messing up with their light bulbs from time to time. You know why? Because there’s nothing scarier (more annoying) than flickering lights.

9. This “torment” will continue until the person, frustrated by your disappearing acts, mysterious slaps and electricity tampering, confesses what they did in a public place filled with many people, such as the market square or a family gathering. Then they either run mad, die instantly or have their body inflicted with a mysterious growth.

10. Immediately your murderer dies, you will now rest in peace and probably return to heaven with angels singing alleluia upon your arrival. Regardless of the fact that you just dished out delicious revenge and God explicitly instructed that we leave that to him. 

Funny right? But it’s the Nollywood style and they say art is subjective and fluid. The lines between real and make believe can be blurred. Just enjoy it, ridiculous or not

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